Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Last week we were dealt awful news. Derrik's MRI revealed a tear in his UCL. His UCL is what he had repaired last year (Tommy John Surgery). It was awful news to take in, lots of tears on my part, comprehending we would spend a whole other year in rehab, knowing we would miss not only all of this season but part of next. We spent the rest of that day feeling sorry for ourselves, being fustrated, talking to those who mean the most to us asking for their opinion, and by the next morning picked up the pieces and began moving forward.
We had a big decision to make. We had multiple decisions we could make in regards to Derriks career, but I think both whole-heartedly feel we need to continue to push forward with this. We both know it can work and have seen many teammates come back perfectly fine from this. One of the guys playing for the Reds has had the surgery three times! I will forever question why Derrik? Why his arm? Why are we suppose to do two years of rehab?
I know there are bigger reasons for this. Maybe as a family we are meant to be out there on our own. Maybe it'll make us even stronger, closer, and even more in love then we are now. I know we grew so much as a family out there on our own this past year.
Where do we stand right now? At a stand still. The doctor in Arizona and the tech who reads MRIs in Arizona see a tear, but the head doctor in Cincinnati (who did the last surgery) says he does not see it. We are very fustrated because last year when the doc in Cincinnati read the MRI he said he did not see a tear either when it was indeed torn. Derrik's arm is a mess, feels awful, and we feel as if this surgery is indeed going to happen its just a matter of politics being sorted out at this point. I was waiting for some definite answers before putting this all in writing, but it seems it may take anotehr week or so to sort out and did not want to leave our family and friends in the dark.
We are trying to keep our heads up, but I'm such a planner at heart. I tell Derrik I can handle any living situation (location, length of time, furnished, unfurnished) as long as i'm given some sort of plan. Right now I have nothing and my mind can not handle that. We had an apartment all lined up to move into, but were then told the doctor is wanting to wait on surgery. It's so fustrating constantly trying to rearrange our lives off of someones opinion they took two seconds to make.
At the moment I am trying to keep myself busy with the present day. It seems to be all I can prepare for so I have to be content with that. I'm taking my sister and a bunch of her friends to the midnight showing of Eclipse tonight, going to the first Chatham Anglers game of the season(Formerly Chatham A's... the team Derrik played for when we met), going to a band concert in Chatham on Friday, going to the parade on Saturday, and celebrating the 4th! Hoping all of this can keep me busy until we get some answers.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Today Derrik was sitting in a doctors office getting a consult for surgery on his arm.
Derrik's velocity has been down since he began playing in games for his rehab. The delay in him being placed with a team had a lot to do with this. When he returned back to Arizona from his short trip to visit in Cape Cod his arm hurt really bad. He hasn't thrown since that happened last Monday. He took some medication the Reds prescribed to knock out any inflammation and threw again yesterday from only 45 feet.... still pain.
That led to him getting x-rays today which later revealed a large bone spur in his elbow.
Shock, upset, frustrated, confusion.... It's a wide range of emotions that I feel right now. The idea of another surgery,moving back out to Arizona, and more rehab makes me nauseous.
Derrik will get an MRI tomorrow morning to make sure everything looks great from his Tommy John surgery. There is no reason to think anything is wrong, but they feel like they should take precautionary measures if they are going back into his elbow anyhow. After that we should be getting a date for the surgery.
If it is just a bone spur then it is a scope surgery (minimally invasive). It would be a about a six to eight week rehab with some time after that to get his arm back in pitching condition. It would put us right into the final week or so of the season. There are some options after that in the baseball world (i'm sure all you baseball wives out there can think of all the different options... instructs, fall ball, winter ball, minor league playoffs), but I won't get into them as they are all slightly confusing. I will explain later when we see what options come our way. For now though we have to get his arm fixed. I told Derrik after this i'd prefer to never see the inside of his arm ever again!
I will keep everyone posted as far as travel and surgery dates... I don't think i'll sleep much with all of this going though my mind!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Daddy we would be lost without you! Thank you so much for always supporting me and my family in all the decisions we make. We are forever grateful for the love and support you offer us!
Ronnie, Tom, Papa (Bennett), and Papa (Lutz) we love you all very much and thank you also for supporting us, backing us through the highs and lows, and all you do for us.
Thank you so much for being such an amazing father to our little man. I knew you'd be a great dad, but never knew just how amazing you would be. I love nothing more then when you tell me you love Ryder, and then reiterate how much you really love him... melts my heart! We are so sad we can't be with you this father's day, but promise we will have many happy days ahead that will make up for this time. Ryder and I love you so so much!!!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Liz over at Tickled Pink(http://babyabigailgrace.blogspot.com/) awarded me with the Beautiful Blogger Award. Liz is someone I just recently found in blog world through the baseball wives blog, and we have so much in common! She lives in Florida, has a little one, and a husband that is a pitcher. They are currently also in rehab... no surgery for them yet and praying it stays that way for them! I'm loving all their updates on how they are managing to survive baseball with a family too :)
This award comes with a few rules.... thank those that gave this award to you and tell seven things about yourself that readers may not already know.
So here you go!
1. I love ice cream! Like REALLY love it!!! I could eat it at every meal if it wouldn't make me gain so much weight.I do eat it almost every night though and should probably stop pronto. My two favorites are Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Mint Chocolate Chip! YUM!!!
2. I have a sick obsession with reality tv... or maybe just tv in general. Some favorites that are on right now are The Bachelorette (Cheering on Chris L. and Roberto), The Hills, The City, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. I also love Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, and Flash Forward. I can't wait until the fall when they all come back on!
3. I keep my fridge super neat. I never knew this about myself until my friends made a huge deal out of it last spring training. Everything has it's spot and labels always have to be kept facing forward.
4. I want to be more talented and keep promising myself to do so. I want to learn to sew cute clothes, become a amateur photographer, and learn to make amazing digital scrapbooks for Ryder. I also tell myself I will "soon".... hopefully "soon" isn't when Ryder is graduating high school.
5. I despise deep cleaning a home. I can show a good front by keeping things tidy and in order, but I hate to do a deep clean! (I guess everyone does)Luckily we always have to pay cleaning fees when we move into rental homes, and we always move quick enough before that "deep clean" becomes necessary :)
6. I love Christmas now more for the cold weather, getting my family all into one place, taking Ryder to see Santa, making yummy breakfasts, Christmas carols, baking cookies, cozy nights by the fire with the Christmas tree lit up, and getting Christmas cards from friends and family then the actual presents.
7. I broke my nose in high school racing BMX. Most people find the BMX (bike racing) part interesting. I raced for about ten years and got to travel all over the country with it. It made for an amazing childhood. Anyhow... I had just started my freshman year of high school, and I broke my nose after a crash and had to have surgery to fix it. I had to walk around high school with bandages on my nose which was extremely embarrasing, and it still left a bump on my nose! Talk about traumatizing!!!
Now I get to pass this award on .....
Friday, June 18, 2010
Yesterday we finally made it down for a real pond day. We had seen it a few times, but hadn't had much success with weather. My mom and I met up with two moms from Hailey's class with their three little boys. Ryder was finally surrounded by boys! They were a couple years older then him and weren't thrilled over the distruction Ryder could do to their "fish pond" they were making. They kept throwing toys for Ryder to chase after, but Ryder had no clue they were trying to get him and his destructive ways away from their creation. He was in heaven when he thought they were playing with him.
First smile while looking at the camera in a long time!
Helping grandpa with the cart
Sunday, June 13, 2010
On Thursday morning I went in to get Ryder up out of bed. I was changing his diaper on the changing table and told him I had a surprise for him. Ryder ripped his paci out of his mouth and shouted, "DA!". I had told Ryder for the few days before that his Daddy was coming to visit, but he never seem to really grasp the concept. I said, "Yeah baby... Da is laying in Mommy's bed". We rushed down the hallway and Ryder tried leaning over to kiss the picture of Derrik he has been kissing since we got here. I once again told him that his Da was in Mommy's bed and went into the bedroom. I was so nervous that his reaction would be bad. I was nervous he wouldn't go to Derrik or would just walk the other direction. I was so wrong! I crawled into bed with Ryder and said "Look Ryder... That's your Daddy!". The largest grin I have ever seen erupted on Ryder's face as he leaned in and hugged his Daddy for as long as I've ever seen him hug! You couldn't wipe the smile off of Ryder's face if you tried. We all laid in bed watching tv together, and Ryder kept sitting up to hug and kiss Derrik. He was one happy boy to have his Da back in his life... even if it was for only a few days!
Friday morning was gorgeous out! We went and grabbed some donuts at Dunkin Donuts and played down at the beach for a little while.
Sharing some of his donut with his Daddy
Ally, Jenny, Tanner, and Sarah
Derrik had an awful trip home. His orginal flight was delayed, then cancelled, then his new flight was delayed which caused him to miss his connection. He had to sleep in the Las Vegas airport! I don't think it was how he envisioned his first trip to Las Vegas that's for sure! He just got home, showered, and has a couple of hours to sleep before he has to report back to the field this afternoon. Now it's back to baseball, back to rehab, and back to waiting for something to happen.... we'll keep you updated!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Well i'm sad to report that Ryder and I are still in Cape Cod, and Derrik is still out in Arizona rehabbing. When Ryder and I left over a month ago we never anticipated that we would be apart for this long. The time frame we were given, after Derrik's surgery, for Derrik to be back with a team was the beginning of May until the end of June. We waited until he started throwing in games again to make sure he felt fine, and then packed our bags and headed to my parents with the anticipation that a move would be made in days or at the most a few weeks. I've learned in the baseball world to never anticipate anything!!! As I write this today I have not seen my husband in a month and two days.
Ryder and I are truly enjoying ourselves with my family, but that doesn't matter because we miss our hubby and daddy so so much! Derrik on the other hand is at the baseball field every day, dealing with temperatures well above one hundred degrees, and had to move AGAIN! The owner of the house the guys he moved in with wouldn't renew the lease after the first of this month. Thank God Derrik had been doing baseball lessons for a boy with a really sweet family who has taken him and all our stuff in until he is with a team again.
Derrik's arm feels great. He threw back to back days this week for the first time, and did amazing in both games. We were beyond fustrated that he was still in rehab, and were not getting any answers as to when he would be sent with a team or what he needed to do different. Finally on Friday we got some answers and are trying to feel at peace with them. The Reds have basically said that have not put Derrik on the back burner. They have told us they value him as a player very highly and want to protect him until they feel he is at the best of his ability so he can do good things for them in the future. His velocity when he started pitching in games was the low 80s, for the past two weeks hes been steady at 85, and just Friday hit 86! Only a little further to go and he'll be back where he was, but they don't want Derrik to push himself so that takes time. That still leaves our family on seperate sides of the country with an indefinate timeline on when we will be together again.
With the minor league draft coming up the rehab and extended spring training guys out in Arizona get next Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off! Yes, you heard me right... FOUR FULL DAYS OFF! We bought Derrik a ticket to fly out Wednesday afternoon, and he is with us until Sunday afternoon. I seriously feel like Christmas is coming this week!!! By the time Derrik gets here this week I will have not seen him for five weeks and one days which beats our all time high of five weeks apart when we first meet and were dating. To say I am excited to see Derrik doesn't even do it justice!
We live on Cape Cod, which is known for it's amazing beaches and amazing summers! Unfortunately whenever we are here as a family it is freezing and snow is on the ground. The only time we've ever been able to spend summer time together was the amazing summer we met... seriously amazing enough I feel like you could write a movie! It was the best summer of my life! This week we will get to share that again... with Ryder! We are going to soak up all the family-time-on-Cape-Cod-Mini-Vacation time we can this week!!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Ryder gets very mad if we don't play his Usher OMG song in the car.
This is him protesting Grandpa's old man music