Blogging is a weird place for me. It began as way for close family to be able to see pictures of Ryder while we were far from home. It later became an awesome way for me to document Ryder's life for our future since i'd be broke if I printed off all the picture we take of him! I wanted it to be a source of journaling almost for me to put down the good, the bad, and the ugly. I notice though when we are having a rough day though i'll want to blog, but then hesitate because I don't want our friends, family, and bloggers judging me on our bad days. I have come to realize maybe I try to paint things a little too "picture perfect".
I read lots of blogs by people I do not know, but have children around Ryder's age. Most of them are younger moms like myself and are sort of like a group of girlfriends I can compare stories with. However, I feel like all of these mom's have children that are always perfect, eat all their veggies, never cry, play perfectly, never get their clothes dirty, don't even know what a tantrum is, always sleep through the night, don't hit, don't get cranky, never throw their food, behave in restaurants, and are geniuses! I feel as though we are the only ones struggling through anything with our almost twenty month old toddler who has hit his terrible-two's a little early.
I then had to question myself. If reader's of our blog aren't around (which no one is since we are in the middle of no where by ourselves through this awful rehab!) do I maybe paint that same picture of our family? Do I lead people to believe we always have smiles on our faces, that we play in fountains, color pictures with chalk, kick balls, read books, and go on fun adventures? Do I lead people to believe we always have our act together? I think I might in some sense.
I think part of us does it because we like to remember the good and forget the bad. I know I sure do! I hardly remember what it's like to be up all night with Ryder when he was an infant. I think to myself how bad was it really? All I can remember is how little he was, how cute he was, how sweet he smelled. I don't remember the bad. It's an amazing thing how we can do that!
Well... just for future reference when (or if...because right now it's so far from our minds it's crazy) we decide to have other children, I want to remember that Ryder was just like he is now and that is passes (it does right?!).
Ryder right now is being a terror... terrible two's? Someone told me they go from about 1 1/2 - 2 1/2. Well he will hit twenty months on Sunday, and I think we can consider ourselves well into this phase. Ryder right now requires constant attention, is throwing awful tantrums, hates being at home, isn't sleeping that great, throws pretty much everything, and loves to hit. We have good spans and we have bad, but it feels like the bad last forever. If we keep him busy with constant entertainment, walks in his stroller, trips to the park, rides in the car, and anything else we can think of it's all great. If we stop this for even a second to think about taking a phone call, relax, check e-mail... forget it! All hell breaks lose. Needless to say we are e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d!!!
We have tried spankings, time-outs, ignoring him, giving him what he wants. We basically have tried everything and honestly none of them really make him happy. We are writing it off as a "stage" that we will hopefully pass with all the change that is about to come up in our lives.
So there ya have it... it's not so picture-perfect. We love our little man with all our hearts and still want to love and kiss on him even when he's being not-so-nice. After this post I will go back to making everyone think he's the happiest boy in the world, but just needed to vent for one post... promise to get back to the happy picture posts pronto!!!